Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2015 Cheat Sheet

Now that we're beyond midway into SoBo's most  popular fest, here are a few expert tips to help you enjoy it to the fullest...

LOOK BOOK: First things first. Pick up the schedule from the help desk outside Max Mueller Bhawan. Yes, it's all available online and you're already so loaded up with your DSLR and iPad and selfie stick. But note that Internet connectivity has failed quite often on a number of gadgets in the area over the last few days. I saw scads of people walking around with lost looks, circling around the same art installations again and again like they were in a nightmare! Considering one involved cladding an Ambassador car in what looked like the white llama fur, I wouldn't blame them. But yes, bring the book, low-tech as it may seem.

SECRET PASSAGE: The best stories have a way of getting from place to place in a mysterious, magical way. Well, believe it or not, KGAF 2015 has that too! Head to the tall double gates next to the Max Mueller Bhawan entrance, get frisked by cops, pat some friendly singing cats, tiptoe past the  sleeping fairies (you'll see the sign!) and voila, you're suddenly in a garden you  didn't know existed! Well, not in this dimension at least. It's the patch of lawn between the Chhatrapati Shivaji Sangrahalaya's bhojanalaya (the Museum Café, for the uninitiated) and the  Coomaraswamy Hall. Some super creative art work by the city's school kids is showcased here. Also head this way if you want to buy some great Madhubani craft, catch the puppet show (outdoors) or watch a film (inside Coomaraswamy Hall).

SEAT FEAT: Watching a movie in a makeshift hall at the fest? If you aren't able to get there early enough to be so much in front that your eyeballs run the risk of grazing the screen, follow my advice. Get there late. Yes. You heard me. Get there a few minutes AFTER the film has started. Find a spare chair right at the back. With minimum noise and fuss, lift it up and place it in the centre of the hall, where there is usually a narrow aisle created between the chairs. No heads coming in  between you and cinematic joy. This way, you can literally, have the best seat in the house! Of course, this won't work if someone else has read this blog and got there a nanosecond before you. And if there are others who want to be in the  aisle clear as well. In either case, you could use the opportunity to make a political statement. Left of centre if you're attending KGAF for the art and the free events. Right of centre if you're one of the sponsors.

GET SWAYED: This one is for all those bemoaning the loss of Joss at Kala Ghoda... Just for this week, Royal Oak Banquets serves up just as delicious a coconutty kaukswey as you used to have at the original Joss. And at the most affordable rates too. Insider's tip: Request the men at the counter to pack it in a takeaway container for you. The sturdy boxes are much easier to eat out of than the paper cups they serve eating-heres.

Undhiyu kinda love

I've always been a fan of Gujarati undhiyu and wait for the cooler months to savour this winter favourite every year.

Today, for the very first time, I decided to try my hand at making some of my own instead of landing up at my mum's place, ordering it by the kilo or picking up a boxful from Chetana.

My minimal prep was to order an Undhiyu Mix from www.greencart.in and ensure that I had ajwain (carom seeds) at home. The mix came with yam, raw banana, brinjal, paapdi, methi, vaal, coriander, peas and green garlic. I love sweet potato in my undhiyu so it was fortuitous that I had some in my fridge.

First, I made the methi gatta, for which I basically had to fry balls rolled from a stiff dough made using besan (gram flour), chopped methi leaves, a little red chilli powder, a dash of water and a pinch of salt.

Next, I prepped the chunky veggies by washing, peeling and chopping into similar sized pieces. I kept the peel of the banana on while everything else was scraped clean.

I also grated some fresh, aromatic ginger, a few pods of garlic and chopped a couple of green chillies and a handful of coriander. This bit was for grinding into a green paste. I use only a small, handheld mixer but it wasn't long before I got a nice paste, which I could use to rub onto the chunky veggies. I tossed them in a bit of oil before I left them to marinate for about half an hour.

Now it was time to turn my attention to the greens and beans. I shelled the peas, threaded the paapdi, chopped the green garlic, and washed the vaal.

I took a heavy bottomed vessel and heated up the oil I'd used to fry the gatta, adding a little more for good luck! Here's where I innovated a bit... I roasted some til (white sesame) before adding the chunky veggies which were nicely coated with the green paste by now. I sautéed these for a while, then covered the pan and cooked the mixture for five minutes.

Once I took off the lid, I got a whiff of the true undhiyu fragrance, but I knew there were some finishing touches that would make it perfect. I added a generous amount of ajwain, a teeny bit of hing (asafoetida), a dash of turmeric powder and a few tablespoonfuls of wheat flour (to thicken).

I put in a teaspoonful of ghee (clarified butter) and covered the vessel again so the chunky veggies could cook in peace.

About 10 minutes later, I had the undhiyu I'd been craving. And it was doubly delicious since I had made it myself! :)

Polished it off with methi thepla (made by my cook) and with this yummy powder I learned from my ma-in-law (roast white sesame, add salt and sugar, grind, scarf!).

The Rolling Pin: Brand new boulangerie in Lower Parel!

Me: Look! There's a new place across the road from Phoenix Mills!

Him: The Rolling Pin... Nice! Let's check it out at the end of our walk.

About 10 minutes later, after a much-abridged walk, we are inside this brightly lit boulangerie, goggle-eyed and salivating against a long counter filled with beautifully crafted pastries. The toxic green Spiced Latte grabs my attention. But I want to know more before I make its acquaintance.

Me: How long have you been open?
Female counter attendant: Since 11am...
Me: No, no, how many DAYS have you been around for!
Manager: Since yesterday, ma'am.

Just two days old. Hmmm... I like that!

Him: Here's the menu... Wow, they have a lot of variety.
Manager: Yeah, we have sandwiches, burgers, even the little sliders...
Me: And it's all vegetarian, even eggless?
Manager: Yes. It's wholly owned by the Gupta family... the same people who run Quattro and Spice Klub next doors. They are partners in the Samrat and 210° chain too.
Me: That's good pedigree. I'm excited about trying the food here.
Him: Let's sit down at a table facing the open kitchen and figure what to get.

We pull up the cool red chairs and take a longish time to decide...

Me: Should I have one of my faves, Thai curry or Burmese Khauswe?
Waiter: I recommend the sizzlers...
Me: Okay, then maybe the pepper-encrusted cottage cheese?
Waiter: Or there's the Potato Mania. You can choose which potato you want, which toppings, which cheese, which sauce...
Me: Aaaaaargh! As though the Libran in me needs more choices to wrap her head around!!!

In the end, we go for the Dark Roast Cold Coffee, a Thai Fusion salad and a Potato Mania. As we're waiting for our order, I start clicking some shots of the interiors. Immediately, a finger is waggled at me and I'm asked not to shoot.

Me: But why ever not? Don't you want people to talk about your eatery?
Waiter: Management's orders.
Me: I'd like to speak to someone who made this rule.
Waiter: (Pointing in vague direction of the desserts counter) You can talk to him.
Ostensible Gupta scion: Yes, we don't allow photography.
Me: But if I want to blog about your restaurant, I'd like to have pictures too. I don't understand your rule.
Gupta scion: The rule only applies to our desserts. You can certainly shoot each other, the restaurant and the dishes you order. The staff is new. (Shoots dark look at the offending waiter)
Manager: Sorry about that.
Me (somewhat mollified): Thanks.

We go back to to our table where I  proceed to get a bit trigger happy!

Him: The cold coffee is rather regular.
Me (sniffing hard): Maybe it has a roasty fragrance. Maybe it's my imagination. But it could certainly do with a bit stronger and darker coffee taste.
Waiter: The Thai Fusion Salad...
Me: The peanut sauce gives it a distinctly satay-like flavour. But I'm not getting the freshness of the raw papaya I was craving.
Him: True, but I like the peanut flavour.
Me (tucking into my Potato Mania greedily): I'm so happy with the mix of flavours! It's really really satisfying. I got sweet potato fries, topped with mushroom and garlic, with Cheddar cheese bits and a sour cream sauce.
Him: This would go very well with beer. It has a great umami taste.
Me: Yeah. And it's a yummy dish to share with friends too.

I continue to do my Hoover impression with the potatoes.There's still some room saved for dessert though. We pick the Caramel Nougat pastry.

Him: It's  disappointing that one can't even cut through it easily.
Me (screwing up my face): It's just too buttery and hard for me. I won't waste calories on this. Even the bits of chikki-like nougat stuck on the side can't redeem this one. Let's get the Tiramisu. It looks like the one from Quattro that I've enjoyed in the past.
Him (trying a spoonful): This one needs more of a coffee flavour too. It's better than the pastry, but that's not saying much.
Me: I agree. It's nothing like the one from Quattro.

When we get the bill (it comes cutely wrapped around a rolling pin!) we see they haven't charged us for the Caramel Nougat pastry which we didn't eat.

Me: That's sweet of them. But even then, as they call themselves a bakery first and are so protective of their sugar work designs, their baked goods should be better than they were. Instead, the mains shone. Still, it's early days and we can give them a chance to pull up their socks a bit. Or else, I'm coming back brandishing my rolling pin at them!

The artistic sign

Cheery interiors

Potato Mania

Thai Fusion Salad

Long dessert bar

Quotes on the joy of baking line the wall

Rolling pin bill

The mission!

To blog or not to blog has been the question since 2006! So, although I bagged this space in the blogsphere eight years ago and even started a couple of blogs, I never really followed through. Now, while blogging and vlogging has come of age for so many, I'm yet again, taking a few baby steps into this world wide web of writing.

After almost three decades of writing about people and events in my city and a couple of years of conducting bespoke tours for visitors, I think what I really want to use my virtual voice for is to discuss the many aspects of this wonderful metropolis.

From food to culture, from issues to inspiring tales... I hope to enchant you with Mumbai's magic and, literally, bring the best of Bombay to you.